Dreamin'

I have a little dream forming. Actually a big one, but composed of small steps, research and most importantly, belief. Some months back, in a moment of despair I was on the phone with my mom and she asked me, have you ever thought that maybe you’re just fine the way you are? Irritated to the bone of course I avoided the option of being okay. No one’s okay! How could I possibly be just fine when I’m always all screwed up? But of course therein lies the obvious self-fulfilling prophecy, the mistake we all make all the time. I don’t believe that all it takes is believing in yourself to make you all better, but that it is certainly an important step to beginning new beginnings. I know that I must quit squashing my dreams before they’ve even begun forming. I know that the majority of things I love in this world I don’t actually have faith in. And I know that I’m a series of ridiculous contradictions when I fight what is most elemental to my being. But I have this little dream forming; full of all that I love to do, to make and to see. It’s all very basic and no so complicated when I just accept it for what it is; fine the way it is. Not even that, it’s downright beautiful and I’m working on having confidence in it. I’ll let you know more soon…