Saturday, January 5, 2008


4 January 2008

As usual, nature’s keepin it real. Yesterday the weather culminated in a super storm of all forms just as my mood and mind had been building up to going absolutely nuts as I had not left my site in 8 days and hadn’t bathed in two weeks. Many factors played into my stir-craziness, but mostly it left me hating on life and myself and my lovely little site much too much. But the great lessons this country teaches me daily are many, and yesterday of course it was to never be heartbroken by your fixed plans, in fact, don’t ever have fixed plans.

Normally I love wind, it’s refreshing and scary, and fun to play in, but in a world of dust, the fifteen minute walk to my two planned errands of going to the post office, only to find yet again that my package had not yet arrived, and having tea with one of the nicest old ladies in town (though she’s completely un-understandable) was quite scary. Then my further plans for the day, going to the Co-op and the cyber, fell through as it began to rain, and soon, hail. The weather was yelling as loud as my little host nephew. So for the rest of the day I sat quietly, as usual, but my mind was screaming with everything I wasn’t getting done, and how much I wanted to get out of here.

Later that evening I braved leaving the inferno room to pee, so focused on my own demolished self, I didn’t even look up as I stepped out the front door and into the bit lma. Then as I came out I was shocked to find that it was snowing, and even more shocked that I hadn’t noticed the quiet, for snow seems to silence all, guess I just let my brain get too loud. I smiled big and laughed at my ridiculous nature and all my frustrations, and sat back behind the inferno, doing the same thing, just sittin there, but feeling oh so different about it all. Not better necessarily, but I humored myself. And within minutes the power was out. Ha. So we sat by light of the fire and a buta gas lamp and had dinner a half hour early.

Funny how unprepared you always are at these times. We had randomly had coffee instead of tea with kascrew, so I was wide awake on caffeine, but I had let my battery on my laptop go, so I knew I wouldn’t be able to type for long, and my ipod was in the red too, and of course I had no idea where my AAA rechargeable batteries were for my fading push light because I hadn’t needed to use them yet, but I had nothing to read anyway, so what did it matter? Needless to say, I didn’t sleep much.

This morning, I woke up to a world of white. A good eleven inches of it. And it’s beautiful. Atfl bzaf! Growing up near the beach in southern Cali, I never lived with snow, but I did go through a good four years of it in college in Missouri, and have decided I much prefer living Mediterranean. However, its impossible to not love the first snow, especially on the dry, red dirt landscape of Morocco. Oh, forgot to mention, the power came back on this morning, but the waters off, eh. And as the day progresses, so slowly, I’m oddly okay with it all, cuz really, I have absolutely no power to stop it.

Somehow in realizing how powerless I am in one area inspires me to take control of an area I do have power in. Presently, that would be me falling into madness, no not really, but I’m just getting too frustrated and too stubborn too quickly. I’ve decided to pull yet another unexpected page from my mom’s book and start doing “what I love about you’s” for Morocco when I journal, just like we used to do at family meetings. Sounds silly, and it certainly always was the most dreaded portion, because all we really wanted to do was rip each other’s hair out, but in hindsight, I’m ever thankful, for those are the only moments I really remember about family meetings. Since much of my journaling is ranting, raving and whining, it’s good to take a moment to think, even forcefully, about what I do love. What I love about Morocco today is its ability to be a never ceasing lesson in patience, its mountains, and the women, who, even with infants strapped to their backs, are shoveling snow of their roofs. I don’t think I’ll ever understand most things. Speaking of understanding, I’m also taking more control in learning the language, but I’ll talk about that more in another post.

Though the snow has screwed over my plans of getting to the cyber today as well, they don’t exactly salt all the roads here, I really hope its cleared up enough by tomorrow! For I’ve been looking forward to tomorrow for much to long! My best friend here, Linsey, who’s placed a good eight hour bus ride from me, is meeting me in Azrou for the night! Not only am I ecstatic about seeing her and talking in English about anything and everything for a good 24 straight hours (we may even need a talking stick cuz I dunno if either of us is gonna be able to shut up long enough to listen, you try going just one day without speaking English or seeing someone you’ve known longer than a month), I will also have a shower! And ooo, I’m even going to shave! Both of which I haven’t done since swear in in Fes - that was over a month ago. I’ve “bathed” here, but there’s just nothing as great as a shower, and two weeks is just, wow, way too long. And the thought of actually letting my hair down! I’ve taken to wearing headscarves easily, it’s just so much more practical here, and I’ve nearly forgotten already the feeling of hair in my face. We also plan on indulging in pizza, coke, snickers and the avocado and almond yogurt milk were both obsessed with (it’s an absolutely divine combination I am sorry the states have not yet discovered). I’ve come to accept the weathers terms today, but if it prevents me, or Linsey, from getting there tomorrow I might go bezerk.

Telling songs of the day:

Blacking Out The Friction by Death Cab For Cutie, it just very appropriate for my current state. And Snow by Red Hot Chili Peppers, the title is of course, but also I’ve been thinking about my two awesome little sisters in Washington and how much I miss them. For whatever reason, Hanna loves it and made me play it like eight times on the drive home from camping this summer. So listened to it a few extra times tonight. I love and miss you girls.

(eek, and I’ve been working on a long post about the big Eid, all various the sheep parts I’ve eaten, temporarily losing hearing in my right ear, the new year, my newest battles in the war on cold, and the difficult process of moving out, but it will have to come later)

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