It is incredible how much I miss home being sick. Was in bed from 7pm yesterday to 2 pm today with extreme agony throughout my torso and a migraine in my head. I forgot I was in a cement room in Morocco and began picturing my mom coming home and the crackle of Vons shopping bags and her bringing me ginger ale, milk toast and talking to me like I was a baby. Oh and sick bear! Ha-ha, haven’t thought about that thing in years. Upon realizing where I actually was I half imagined, half wished I was sick at grandmas house and the way she would frantically be trying to make me better through cantaloupe or juice or some nasty vitamin concoction that would surely make me better, in fact, if I’d been taking all my vitamins in the first place I never would have gotten sick . . . though her efforts may have made me feel worse at times, there is so much love in her care and I miss that! And then I thought of being up at my dad’s and my little sisters giggling outside the door no matter how many times my stepmom told them not to wake me up, but seriously, by noon its really time to play! And my dad bringing me some ridiculously expensive starbucks drink I’d always insist I didn’t need, but so glad he got it cuz it’d be so good. Ah and then Ashley, and her crazy morning hair as I begged her up on Sunday mornings to watch George Stephanopolis. She’d eat leftover bowtie alfredo- our specialty, and I pass through 4 bowls of cereal and instead of going to studio we’d blow off the morning with movies and going over to-do lists. Wow how many worlds away that all seems! Sick or not, the transfer from my warm bed to my warm people is what I truly miss.
Ah, and the culprit of physical agony? My family insists it’s because I only wore one headscarf after the hamam the other day, not two, but it could be anything; could be the fact that 90% of my food diet is bread and 90% of my liquid diet is sugar, or the fish and kafta meatball tajine we had a couple days ago (fish is iffy here unless you live on the coast), or the questionable sandwich I had yesterday with the pink ketchup and partially uncooked egg, or the styrofoam my family decided to burn to get the inferno going last night, or the overall stress of this awkward beginning in my site and my general inability to adjust to moving from extreme cold indoors to hot sunshine outside. I wish there was a better way to put it but it truly is the cold land with the hot sun.
But despite this great ulcer of a night I’ve had I continue to love Morocco. (some days I mean that and some days I just say it, but either way- I love Morocco) The PCVs up here are great; a couple from my staj and a bunch of environment volunteers, which is what I always wanted to be! Environmental Studies ranks top of the list of things I’ve always wanted to do but fear I can’t. The class on Environmental Ethics and Policy struck me to the core and was my favorite class throughout all of college (which is funny, considering it was the only class I took outside my college) the clash of science and philosophy- my two worst subjects! I was talking to another PCV yesterday about what we wanted to do and after talking about my passion for environmental studies as well as fiber properties, perhaps there’s a place for me to do a study on fibers and material sustainability, something like that. Ha-ha, I’ve thought about that before, but I can’t even put a name to it yet. I think I’m in a good place to explore the idea as the focus of Peace Corps work is supposed to be sustainability and I’m near environment PCVs and the co-op I’m working with could certainly work with better fibers, hmmm it will all come together somehow. Two years is a long time and though as of right now going back to school is the last thing I want to do, I think I will want to sooner than I think. Weaving is my passion, but not my life’s work.
So then, after long mental ramblings with myself and the sickness finally drifting, I got myself out of bed and went to the post office, enjoyed the fresh air and the beautiful mountains and this tiny duwar I’m trying to call home and walla! A package from my mom and a package from Ashley, I can’t think of anything that could have brightened my day more other than their actual presence. Awesomely warm clothes and Reeses from my mom and my dear Ashley, among other things- a 13 page letter! I nearly cried reading it I was so happy. I then managed to get to the Co-op for the last couple hours of the day, and my dad called and I got to talk to my nana and my stepmom! Though last night was one of my worst yet in Morocco, today was one of the best. Except for three little Reeses I just enjoyed I haven’t eaten in over twenty-four hours and haven’t even felt a tingle of hunger. Yikes. Hopefully my body’s health will catch up with my mind and things will balance out a bit by tomorrow. Still friggin freezing though.