Alright, alright!

The pictures are up now! The link on the right that says Bri’s Pictures now actually has pics, but only up to about two weeks ago. I’m currently in bed typing under many layers of heavy hand-woven wool covers for I am on a site visit of the place where I will be living and working for the coming two years, listening to my music and oh so content for the moment. If you need my actual city and address you’ll have to contact me directly. All I can say is that I’m in Boulemane Province, high in the mountains, in a bity village but thankfully not too far from the usual comforts. It’s VERY cold here, as many of us say, a cold you can’t escape, if anything it only gets worse when you come home. Oddly enough the preferred home is mud rather than cement for its sooo much warmer. I’m not gonna get into the work cuz I haven’t really started and I’m trying not to form any strong opinions about it yet. But I will say I’m obviously working with weavers, an incredible co-op. I miss my family in my CBT site so much and it was hard when I got here to imagine accepting yet another mother, but I can’t help it, I love my new family as well. And they’re so different I don’t have to compare them. I live with my mother, her daughter in law and her two ADORABLE kids, a year old boy and a four year old girl, they’re irresistible. I’m actually replacing another volunteer who’s COSing (close of service) as I swear in. She’s lived with the host family her whole service. There’s so much more I wanted to write but it will have to be later, I’m exhausted. But my Skype and other messengers work now and the cyber is relatively close to my site, so once I atually move here at the end of the month we can all talk for free once a week, inshallah.

Catchin up

Wow, I’ve only been in Morocco for just over a month- it feels so much longer. Despite what you may have feared, I am alive and well! Sorry for taking so long catching you all up, but it has been a whirlwind here. I was having a hard time figuring out what to call this post, as it will be so horrendously long, so I will divvy it up into short-ish chapters. If one sounds interesting, read it, ya don’t have to suffer through the whole thing. Aw, and before I forget, I do have a cell phone now, so if you want to call me e-mail me, or for a more prompt response, my mom for the number. When I get to my final site hopefully I’ll have more time online. It’s not working right now, but hopefully I’ll have a bunch of pictures up soon, http://picasaweb.google.com/brianagodfrey/ (the link is also on the right)

Bri became a Berber (who knew?)

Some things Peace Corps loves: acronyms, handouts, PowerPoint lectures, and shots. I’ve had 11 shots so far, sat through countless lectures on everything from diarrhea to Moroccan economy, and have more books on health and PC policies than I can count. Without delving into an entire explanation of PCT (Peace Corps Training), I will briefly explain what’s going on so you’ll know where I am and why. PCT is three months long, designed to prepare us for two years of successful service. So us 38 SBD (Small Business Development) PCTs were split up into groups of five or six and are sent to CBT (Community Based Training) sites within two hours of Ouarzazate for short stints with an LCF (a Moroccan Language and Culture Facilitator) for language, culture and technical training. Meaning, half the day is spent learning the language, half working with the artisan association in the village and seeing how we can work with them, then the evening and night we spend with separate host families- which is the real training. So on September 21 I was told I would be learning Tamazight and living in a small Berber village named Hdida, and that was it.

Neddia

Two hours away from Ouarzazate, which was already beginning to feel like home, I was in another world. I never thought to take the term “oasis” so literally, but wow, absolute nothingness to lush, green wonderland in the blink of an eye. Hdida is a beautiful little village of about two hundred, nestled between the mountains and along a beautiful asif (river). Don’t try and find it on the map, it’s too small to be on there, but is very close to Kelaa Mgouna. I should also mention that “Berber” is often a derogatory term, the real term is Amazigh (singular) or Imazighen (plural), so I’ll try and use that from now on. So we went from 38 Americans, to five, to one; after only a couple hours in Hdida and a very short Tamazight lesson, our new families arrived to pick us up- eek! I was shaking. They immediately gave us all Amazigh names, sorry mom, my new name is Neddia. I don’t know what it means, and I love my real name, but it’s kind of neat to answer to something else. My family is wonderful; though we are somehow related to everyone in the town, there are four who I live with consistently. Mma Aicha, my host mom, is what I see as a quintessential Amazigh woman-quick, loud and strong. She has the traditional tattoos on her chin and can carry more feed on her back than the two years worth of luggage I packed with me. She has one daughter still living with her, who is the same age as me, she’s very sweet, if not overwhelmingly loving that I am here. Then two of mma Aicha’s grandkids, from her daughter (who just gave birth to another boy last week!) down the street live with us too, they are two of the cutest boys I have ever known. One has rhythm like you wouldn’t believe and I keep picturing someone coming into town and “discovering” him, making him famous and then he’ll tell his story on VH1 about growing up in this unknown little village in Africa. Aw, we’ll see.

Don’t let the bed bugs bite

One of my fellow PCTs pointed out that he never thought that saying could be meant literally, but it’s true! It’s a wild world here! I don’t have a bed, but do have an infinite number of big wool blankets, and nightly critters. I managed to seal off my window, so at least my room is now fly-free, unlike everywhere else. But I do have mealworm looking things and big ants, which if I don’t manage to squash before they reach the bamboo ceiling, they get tired and fall onto my bed during the night. There are also feral moths, giant beetles and scorpions (though I’ve only seen one, and it was dead). So don’t be scared, though I’m covered in little mosquito bites, overall it’s not so bad. Because of the asif, there’s also a great abundance in Hdida of frogs, toads and geckos, which I love cuz they eat the other little pests.

Tsh tsh! (Eat! Eat!)

Food is of course on everyones mind, for I know none of you had faith that little Mac n Cheese Bri would ever survive here, wrong! I’m actually doing fine so far. Food is one of the top ways in which you will find cultural integration, as it is a huge part of the culture here. Refusing food is like a slap in the face. As one of my friends experienced, he had food in his mouth, food in his hand ready to put in his mouth and his family was still yelling at him eat, eat! What do you want from me?! Haha. I haven’t been forced to eat too crazy of foods yet though, for Ramadan only just ended (more on that later). Sugar is what’s an issue, I love atay (tea), but it’s more like sugar with a little mint and water in it, same with la qwa (coffee). The sugar actually comes in cone shaped blocks, which they hit with a hammer and put as many chunks as will fit into the bitty teapot. I think I will just tough it out during training, and return to my comfort level of foods when I have my own place. However, I must say, Moroccan produce, veggies and nuts kick the ass of any I’ve ever had. It is incredible here. I didn’t know fruit could taste any better, but it’s ten times better here. I’ve tried so many new fruits, and squash, even figs (though I don’t like them). And I’m so sorry Ashley, but it is absolute pomegranate heaven here! Oh and the nuts! Me oh my, fresh off the tree, almonds and walnuts are to die for. Lmakla tatfut! (the food is delicious!)

Ass backwards

What comes in must come out! Part of the PC experience is sharing information with each other that you would never have shared within your normal realm. Bodily functions and issues rank top of the list, next to where to get good cyber or a cold coke. I have been fortunate enough, though I say this quietly, to not have had any big illness or issues as of yet, but the lbit lma (toilet) is an eerie experience on a good day. We are blessed to have sit-down toilets in our hotel in Ouarzazate, but nearly everywhere else you find the turk, or the squatter, whatever you want to call it. The Turkish toilet is basically a hole with two steps on either side, very simple design, for a simple purpose. Not so simple of course for the leisurely westerner used to the grand sit down toilet. If you want to stay limber in your old age, get a turk! So in all honesty, it has been a challenge, but the other day my CBT mates and I had the most exciting bathroom experiences ever, as one girl found out that we were simply all doing it backwards! (the things PCVs get excited over are relative) haha, so the turk is getting better. And to go even further into what I’m sure none of you want to know, I must share with the ladies how exceptionally wonderful the Divacup is, and the only way I think I could handle that lovely monthly friend here. If you don’t have one, get it, use it, love it. www.lunapads.com Ah, and other hygiene issues. Well I pretty much don’t shower in Hdida; the bucket shower in the lbit lma is something I’m still not understanding, I’ll update more on that another time.

Language and Laughter

I am trying to keep posts on the brighter side, for life here over all is positive, but I don’t deny it’s already the hardest job I’ve ever had. It’s incredible the swings I’ve been in, like puberty all over again! Learning Tam has been the most challenging aspect so far, it’s just not sinking in! Generally, if I can remember or understand a phrase or two a day I feel some level of success. It’s hard because Tam isn’t a test I have to study for and then I can forget it, learning Tam is a huge portion of my job here. I feel bad when I get home from class, exhausted and don’t even want to try to practice with my family. Everyone wants to talk to you all the time, and it’s a universal mistake everyone makes; if I don’t get it, raise your voice while saying it over and over, and then maybe I will, ugh. Ultimately it takes the age old patience, practice and time. However, I LOVE script. I’m slow, and it’s difficult, but I actually get it and enjoy it, so days that end in script lessons are the best days! But laughter has been my true savior. Laughter is a universal language, past the awkward, I don’t understand you, but you’re laughing so I’ll laugh, that is. I don’t consider myself a particularly funny person, but I made a great joke the other day with my host sister and we laughed for a good half hour- it was exceptional bonding. I also introduced my family to Pop Rocks, which was a huge hit and prompted another half hour of laughter.

Ah, and then its back to Ouarzazate, and another kind of laughter, like being home, the laughs and smiles I have with my fellow PCTs. I knew it would happen, but am still surprising myself to find such great people here, and loving America and Americans again. It was very intimidating at first to hear about all the great things people have already done, but here, were all just regular people trying to find a place and do the work. I haven’t laughed like this since Ashley and it feels good and refreshing. I really do hope the Peace Corps will be one of the great experiences of my life. Looking back on college and still feeling like had I known what it was going to be I may not have done it is not a good feeling. Whether the Peace Corps presents me with the opportunity or I have to seek it pout myself, I hope that I am mature and intelligent enough to take it on fully and look back with pride. No matter what, this experience will inform what happens next. I honestly have no idea what I want to do next/for life. What still freaks me out is being where I’ve always planned to be, I don’t have a plan for after. My job is to be here now. I actually think I’m doing a better job of it than I had expected. There’s no longer time for living up to things, just living now. I was afraid I’d get here and be ultimate serious, no smile face like I used to be, but I’m actually enjoying myself- which as we all know makes the work so much better!

I’m not missing too terribly yet, but of course my family is always on my mind, and not being able to share my daily life/ ins and outs with Ashley is still hard, I miss her so much! I’ve also got a mad craving for mac n cheese- the best comfort food, peanut butter, Swedish pancakes, etc. But all in all, life is good, and I’m happy to be here. I have to say again, I love and miss you all very much, wish I could hear your voices, see your lovely faces and give you big hugs!

P.S. ugh, I wrote this a few days ago and need to catch you all up on l-Eid, not being allowed to dance and my first trip to the hammam, but I’m too tired, and need to go get dinner, now that I’ve finally figured out how to get my comp to work (p.s. Vista sucks!) I will hopefully be online more regularly. I still can’t get my Skype to work, but will be in cell range for the next 3 days if ya wanna call me!

dariya day two

lots of other people need to use the computers and iùm having enough trouble as it is cuz its all in french) eek! but everythings goin good: trying to learn dariya ( moroccan arabic) and all about islam! im happy to be here; and am kept busy enough to not think about how much i miss everyone back home. and making new friends is fabulous; i honestly havent laughed this much sincezz the good old days with ashley and it feels good. and i get to meet my new family and rzeally test my dariya at the end of this week: ack gotta go!
nshoufk mn bعd

I'm alive, and Peace Corps Morocco rocks!

Hey y’all, just droppin a line to let you all know I’m alive, and for now, quite well! Its all been such a crazy blurr I don’t even want to try to explain it all. Staging in Philly was cool, lots of long meetings on safety and security, tra la la. But the best part of course is all my fellow PCTs! (Peace Corps Trainees) There’s 67 of us, he biggest group ever for Morocco. A little over half are in SBD (Small Business Development) like me, and the rest are in YD (Youth Development) . eek, and very few guys. No offense girls, but after 3 years of Fiber with 99% females, I’m pretty tired of estrogen. But thus far, everyone seems awesome. After much travel, delays, waiting, blah balh blah, well I’m here, actually I’ve been here two days now. I’m in Morocco, but I don’t even know what time zone I’m supposed to feel like I’m in so tiredness just comes in odd waves. This post will be crazy sporadic by the way, for I have 64% battery left and have to be at the end of the hall in the hotel to get wireless- which is quite lucky!

Still haven’t quite realized I’m in Africa. Arriving off the bus from the airport in Casablanca to the Peace Corps headquarters in Rabat- completely exhausted (sleeping on a plane is a joke) I had one of my first wonderful moments with the Peace Corps. The staff quickly introduced themselves, and then our country director, who is awesome by the way, spoke. He talked about the mission of the Peace Corps: “to promote world peace and friendship” and I felt the full intensity of what I was doing. I felt it again today, as the US Ambassador for Morocco came to speak to us.

I am talking about the steps, these small steps, small villages, this small person that I am and the few people I will come to know and work with over the next 27 months and how it is such an important and meaningful course in my life and the world as a whole. All politics aside, the Peace Corps offers an opportunity. We all need a lot of help in doing the work we want to see done in this world, and the PC offers such a great ground to grow on. With the complexities of our world and all the inner workings, I am so amazed such an opportunity exists. After art school I feel I became so cynical and afraid of passion, like being full heartedly excited was only a naïve idea. It’s a complicated subject I will always wrestle with, but I now see how silly it is to try so hard to not believe in more of the good in things out of some kind of fear. I am so excited for whatever is going to happen in the next 27 months, and beyond! I thought about all of this so much more eloquently earlier when I of course had no pen or paper, oh well.

Anyhow, tomorrow is our last day in Rabat, Friday morning YD leaves for Fes, and SBD leaves for Ouarzazate, which I hear is about an 8 hour bus ride- sweet. I cannot wait to meet my host family and begin learning the language, ah! I haven’t gotten sick yet, but I certainly expect to soon.

“Life is calling, how far will you go?” (that’s the PC slogan) Well I am here, in Morocco, and will take that as far as it will go. I love you all, keep writing, and don’t worry too much. I'll probably get internet again tomorrow, but then wont for quite awhile.

bslama

off to philly

today is the day! i'm exhausted, its been a whirlwind my whopping 30 hours or so back home. visited old friends, rode the horses, went to the hotsprings, all of which happened between packing, and yet i still didnt compact my life into 75 or so pounds of luggage until a few minutes ago. no of course i didnt sleep, but i'm hoping i will on the plane. my momma made my favorite dinner last night, and is makin my favorite breakfast, or favorite food for that matter, SWEDISH PANCAKES, as i dozily type. then we are off to lax. . .
i'm too tired to feel sad about leaving, but yesterday i had a hilarious episode in the car, on my way home from the last of my errands: i was belting it out to Guster, full of glee (and a bit high on caffeine), which then turned to tears, but as i couldnt quite figure out if they were good or bad tears, and knowing how ridiculous i looked, i started laughing hysterically as well.
so note, it is possible to drive, sing, cry and laugh all at the same time.
and they were tears of joy, it is such an incredible feeling to be so passionate about something again. i always have been, but all the preparation is over, i'm here!
love y'all, goodnight, or morning, or something like that

Two Points For Honesty

Yup, the Guster song is making me feel the need to be all weepy, don’t know why particularly. Otherwise, I’m up much too late, indulging in the internet after not having it for, gasp, three days! I was camping in Oregon with my dad, stepmom and two sisters, it was great! I think I could live the tent life for a long time before tiring of it.

Once again, life can be so annoyingly predictable. I’m just at the point anyone would be in my shoes at this moment, less than a week before leaving everything I know and everyone I love for 27 months. My minds amuck. I’m tossing between reflection, preparation and no thoughts at all. It’s been one crazy summer. I have made so many mistakes; hurt people who never deserved it and allowed people to hurt me who I should not have allowed the chance. For that I am sorry and can only attribute it to a complete denial of all that I know and am. I suppose the best of it is that this summer concludes with me being ready to go. I am just where I need to be; there is nothing here holding me back and nothing I need to run away from. I spent so much of the summer looking for something to go wrong, maybe a test? That icky need to do something wrong because I’m the one that does everything right. Well too bad, couldn’t accomplish that. I wish I could have just enjoyed being in just the right place at just the right time more often.

I may always be someone that holds onto a lot of regret, but all there is is forward, and forward is a good place! It’s just as I knew it would be; in my last days simple moments are held much deeper and clearer in my memory and pull at the heartstrings a bit tighter. Up here in Washington I’m still on a sort of vacation, but when I go home to California I’m sure I will just completely fall apart into tears over anything- but I’m happy for those funny moments. I’m having the nervous dreams of completely forgetting dumb things like socks or very important things like my entire suitcase, or forgetting to pack altogether! Now I must get some sleep and anchor my mind to these few moments I have left here.

I am so ready to go

thats all for now, i'm just so ready to leave. no i' not nearly finished packing or saying my goodbyes, just me, myself and i are ready.

daze

Despite interuptions to scratch the multipe mosquito bites I recieved at work yesterday, I slept 12 straight hours, eek. Can't remember the last time I did that. I got bad news about a friend with cancer, so I'm dealing with the struggle between being thankful for being alive and healthy, and feeling the pain and sadness of a wonderful life cut so horribly short.
I hope you're all well, and I love you so much!
(mm, and I hope none of you are near the blazing summer fires of California, the sky is dark with smoke and the sun is nearly bleeding)

Rock the Kasbah

Well the pre-departure depression has finally faded away to giddiness for all that is to come! My birthday is in one week, my best friend in the world will be here, plus my huge Bon Voyage party, some more friends coming into town, last days of California, last days in Washington with my dad’s family, then two days back at home to pack up and depart for Philly! Eeeek! I could hardly focus on entering coordinates for the easement monitoring we’ve been doing at work today as it all suddenly hit me, and I couldn’t jump up and down with it!
Also, I’ve recently found out that my training will most likely take place in Ouarzazate, rather than Azrou. I must admit I’m a tad bummed; after researching Azrou I was getting excited about the little town. Ouarzazate sounds great too though, if not a bit ritzy. Putting it into perspective, it’s inland of the Algerian border, where the Atlas Mountains meet the desert, and between the Dades and Draa Valleys. This future three-month home of mine is also home of the world famous Atlas Film Studios (think Lawrence of Arabia, Kundun, The Mummy, Babel, etc.), as well as the Tiffoultoute Kasbah. Never in my life did I imagine I’d one day happen upon a Kasbah.

p.s. I think I may also be super hyped on life right now for my near-disease experience at work today of us hiking into a site for easement monitoring, only to find ourselves covered in ticks! I’ve learned a lot about lime disease today and am immensely grateful I do not have it, and fully intend on never getting it! (Is it a bit of a messed up mindset to be afraid of getting hurt or sick, not for the pain or discomfort, but because it would defer or deny my placement with the Peace Corps!? Ha, funny how perspective changes as our purpose does)

by land and by sea

Began the day by land: After working the trailhead, we hiked a little over half a mile in to cut up a tree that had fallen across the trail, and it was much bigger than we thought. No I didn’t do any chain sawing, but I’m a fine wedger! I got to thinking on the way back about the things we know as facts and the way we know things by experience. So often I feel like education is about leading up to what we will experience and we sometimes forget to just go out and play, fall down and feel the pain so we know why it’s better to avoid it. I was thinking mostly about the simple fact of how much wood weighs. Trees are so massive and great and I know they weigh a lot, but maybe it’s because the whole mass of the earth is holding them up and I don’t often picture them leaving it so am not required to imagine how heavy they must be. But oh, they are. Sometimes my job just makes me feel weaker, but the next moment ever stronger. Quick sum up- trees are heavy, don’t try and pick them up alone.
Finished the day by sea: After work and finishing packing my life-to-be-forever-stored into a total of seven plastic containers, I went to the beach for a run. I love running in the shallows, how did I never discover this joy until my last months here? I ran towards one of the most beautiful sunsets ever (though I’ve been saying that about every sunset I’ve seen lately, I actually took the above picture two days ago, but at the same time and place). There is this way the ocean makes me feel a part of this world like nothing else does. This immense expanse, and the way the setting sun shines a direct path on the water toward you, no matter where you are. And then I couldn’t resist, I jumped in. I think this guy walking his dog thought I was crazy, but the water was fine. I ran some more, then jumped in again, tee hee. I need to remember those moments of childish glee, before the absurdities of adulthood fall so completely into place. Then at home I watched “Shallow Seas” from the incredible Planet Earth series, and was further rejuvenated. Last but not least, I climbed into my dark tent, and when I turned around to zip it up the big, beautiful, nearly full moon faced me directly, perfectly placed between the trees. Time spent with both the sun and the moon always makes a more complete day. I taste like salt right now and I love it!